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Shit On Your Neighbor

MyWikiBiz, Author Your Legacy — Monday August 31, 2015
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The card game Shit On Your Neighbor (also known as Screw Your Neighbor, Fuck Your Neighbor, or Crap On Your Neighbor) is brilliant in its simplicity. A perfect game to enjoy with your friends and relatives during Fourth of July week, 2012 -- be sure you mention to other players that you found these rules at MyWikiBiz.com, or you will surely be cursed with bad luck in the game.

All players set three (3) or four (4) piles of chips in front of themselves (this could be piles of 5 dimes, 3 quarters -- whatever the Dealer decides). Each player is dealt one card. The object is to not have the lowest card at the table at the end of the hand -- in this game, the Ace is the lowest card.

In turn, starting from the Dealer's left, player can elect to keep his card, or swap with the person on their left. The player to the left has no choice but to swap, unless that player holds a King, which is a "blocker" card. If you have a King and the person to your right attempts to trade with you, you may shout "flauxbam" and present the King to their line of sight, accompanied by whatever demonstrative ninja move you may care to express. The player on the receiving end of the flauxbam is stuck with their (generally low-ranking) card.

As the last player to act, if the Dealer wishes to trade, he trades with the top card remaining on the deck. (If this card is a King, the deck has essentially flauxbammed the Dealer.)

The player with the lowest-ranked card each hand must push one of their piles into the pot. Suits have no bearing in breaking ties -- all players sharing the same lowest rank must push in a pile. Once a player has pushed in their final stack, they exit the game. The winner of the match is that player with the last remaining pile in front of him, and he collects the entire pot.

Alternate Versions

  • The game may be played with the king acting as a "game stopper", in the sense that if any player is dealt a King, all players lay their cards face up on the table, and the person holding the lowest card is the loser. In other words, no trading occurs if a King is dealt.
  • Once a player has pushed in their final stack, they continue playing "on honor" or "on grace". A player exits the game after losing a round in which he was "on honor" or "on grace".
  • The game may also be played with the highest card being the loser, instead of the lowest.

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Strategy notes

  • Typically, all players will attempt to trade a card ranking Four or lower; most players will trade a Five; and some players will trade a Six. Very few, if any, intelligent players will trade a Seven unless there are only 2 or 3 people left in play.
  • An attentive player will make exception to the above note when, for example, he is forced to trade away a Two, but receives a Three instead. Knowing that the player to their right is now stuck with a Two, there is no reason to trade the Three.
  • Some players erroneously believe that the Dealer maintains an advantage in this game; however, gaming analyst William "Peep" Helms has proven this not to be true, based on years' worth of statistical documentation.