Quickly add a free MyWikiBiz directory listing!

Shit On Your Neighbor

MyWikiBiz, Author Your Legacy — Monday November 30, 2015
Jump to: navigation, search

The card game Shit On Your Neighbor (also known as Screw Your Neighbor, Fuck Your Neighbor, or Crap On Your Neighbor) is brilliant in its simplicity. A perfect game to enjoy with your friends and relatives during Labor Day weekend 2015 (yeah, I know!) -- be sure you mention to other players that you found these rules at MyWikiBiz.com, or you just might get cursed with bad luck in the game.

All players set three (3) piles of chips in front of themselves (this could be piles of 5 dimes, 3 quarters -- whatever the Dealer decides). Each player is dealt one card. All cards are kept face-down and known only to the holder of the card. The object is to not have the lowest card at the table at the end of the hand -- in this game, the Ace is the lowest card, and the King is the highest card.

In turn, starting from the Dealer's left, player can elect to keep his card, or swap with the person on their left by sliding the card to their left on the table top. The player to the left has no choice but to swap, unless that player holds a King, which is a "blocker" or "stopper" card. If you have a King and the person to your right attempts to trade with you, you may shout "flauxbam" and present the King to their line of sight, accompanied by whatever demonstrative ninja move you may care to express. (Getting flauxbammed will result in laughter all around the table.) The player on the receiving end of the flauxbam is now stuck with their (generally low-ranking) card.

As the last player to act, if the Dealer wishes to trade his card, he trades with the top card remaining on the deck. (If this card is a King, the deck has essentially flauxbammed the Dealer, and he is stuck with the card that he tried to trade.) Once the Dealer has resolved his card, everyone exposes their card to everyone at the table.

The player with the lowest-ranked card each hand must push one of their piles of coins into the pot. Suits have no bearing in breaking ties -- all players sharing the same lowest rank must push in a pile. Play continues, with each hand resulting in someone pushing in a pile. Once a player has pushed in their final stack, they exit the game. The winner of the match is that player with the last remaining pile in front of him, and he collects the entire pot.

Alternate Versions

  • The game may be played with the king acting as a "hand stopper", in the sense that if any player is dealt a King, all players lay their cards face up on the table, and the person holding the lowest card is the loser. In other words, no trading occurs if a King is dealt.
  • Once a player has pushed in their final stack, they continue playing "on honor" or "on grace". A player exits the game after losing a round in which he was "on honor" or "on grace".
  • The game may also be played with the highest card being the loser, instead of the lowest. But why do it that way?

Want a page like this about your favorite game or one detailing your personal biography? Then register an account today, and get started!

Strategy notes

  • Typically, all players will attempt to trade a card ranking Four or lower; most players will trade a Five; and some players will trade a Six. Very few, if any, intelligent players will trade a Seven unless there are only 2 or 3 people left in play.
  • An attentive player will make exception to the above note when, for example, he is forced to exchange away a Two, but has received a Three from his neighbor instead. Knowing that the player to their right is now stuck with a Two, there is no reason to trade the Three. In fact, it would be foolish to trade the Three, because you might receive an Ace, and then be lower than the halted player to your right.
  • Some players erroneously believe that the Dealer maintains an advantage in this game; however, gaming analyst William "Peep" Helms (Glenolden, Pennsylvania) has proven this not to be true, based on years' worth of statistical documentation.