Changes

And for sure I see myself and all of you around me, how we have all became weak. I ask you to forgive me, my dear ones, if I here appear to be magnifying this fear, but I feel that these times do not permit this to be made any worst. I also fear that we could invite God’s wrath, because of this much fear that we put on ourselves. If we in fact preach that God is merciful, if we believe that he is almighty; how then that those who in fact are against God more than against us, and we fear them more than God himself. Do we think that they are maybe stronger than God almighty? This is far from us who confess that God can do everything he wants, both in heavens and on the earth. Maybe we are afraid that God’s mercy has turned away from us? It is permissible to think about that, but under condition that no one of us loses hope in God, knowing that He is merciful and that we have to hope for his mercy. God will never forsake his mercifulness. In between God’s goodness and our lack of understanding, we by ourselves are creating barriers so that God’s help doesn’t descend on us, his undeserving servants. We have to remove this barrier, and then we will receive God’s mercy. Therefore, along with his help, it is up to us to remove this barrier. Every one of us must abandon meanness and turn towards Lord with humble heart, with confession and pennants, then Lord will turn towards us and show his great mercifulness. It is childish to cry from fear and suffering, which we deserved because of our misgivings. Our tears would be more useful, to throw away the fear, if we were prepared with clear conscience to accept either death or slavery or any other sacrifice sent to us by Lord, as penance for our sins, if we were to cry for insulting God’s goodness. We would need to first of all foresee this penalty for the sin and stay away from sin. Now, when many of us have sinned we don’t have to be afraid of cleansing, but receive God’s judgment for the good of our souls. And this is as I have said: we erred same as we now are not sinning. If we could only eliminate unbelievers, robberies, and all similar bad things. So that we don’t continue on this road, wouldn’t it be ideal if that in our hearts we don’t have any hate for anyone. Let us cleanse ourselves from any hatred and let us cry in front of our Lord, confess our sins and so that we are ready from hands of God stand to any sacrifice for the salvation of our body and soul. Now Lord himself is giving us these trials to see wether we are living up to the teachings of his only son our Lord Jesus Christ. With this, showing that we are Christians not only in name but in true conduct. One thing is for sure; all that are born on this world sooner or later, it is a given that they will also depart from this world. Doesn’t it in fact make more sense now that we have a chance to conduct our lives in the grace of merciful God, instead to waste ourselves in laziness and melancholy. We are trying so hard to be proud of our saints martyrs, but it is hard for us to follow their examples.

And for sure I see myself and all of you around me, how we have all became weak. I ask you to forgive me, my dear ones, if I here appear to be magnifying this fear, but I feel that these times do not permit this to be made any worst. I also fear that we could invite God’s wrath, because of this much fear that we put on ourselves. If we in fact preach that God is merciful, if we believe that he is almighty; how then that those who in fact are against God more than against us, and we fear them more than God himself. Do we think that they are maybe stronger than God almighty? This is far from us who confess that God can do everything he wants, both in heavens and on the earth. Maybe we are afraid that God’s mercy has turned away from us? It is permissible to think about that, but under condition that no one of us loses hope in God, knowing that He is merciful and that we have to hope for his mercy. God will never forsake his mercifulness. In between God’s goodness and our lack of understanding, we by ourselves are creating barriers so that God’s help doesn’t descend on us, his undeserving servants. We have to remove this barrier, and then we will receive God’s mercy. Therefore, along with his help, it is up to us to remove this barrier. Every one of us must abandon meanness and turn towards Lord with humble heart, with confession and pennants, then Lord will turn towards us and show his great mercifulness. It is childish to cry from fear and suffering, which we deserved because of our misgivings. Our tears would be more useful, to throw away the fear, if we were prepared with clear conscience to accept either death or slavery or any other sacrifice sent to us by Lord, as penance for our sins, if we were to cry for insulting God’s goodness. We would need to first of all foresee this penalty for the sin and stay away from sin. Now, when many of us have sinned we don’t have to be afraid of cleansing, but receive God’s judgment for the good of our souls. And this is as I have said: we erred same as we now are not sinning. If we could only eliminate unbelievers, robberies, and all similar bad things. So that we don’t continue on this road, wouldn’t it be ideal if that in our hearts we don’t have any hate for anyone. Let us cleanse ourselves from any hatred and let us cry in front of our Lord, confess our sins and so that we are ready from hands of God stand to any sacrifice for the salvation of our body and soul. Now Lord himself is giving us these trials to see wether we are living up to the teachings of his only son our Lord Jesus Christ. With this, showing that we are Christians not only in name but in true conduct. One thing is for sure; all that are born on this world sooner or later, it is a given that they will also depart from this world. Doesn’t it in fact make more sense now that we have a chance to conduct our lives in the grace of merciful God, instead to waste ourselves in laziness and melancholy. We are trying so hard to be proud of our saints martyrs, but it is hard for us to follow their examples.

Where is the past wish for martyrdom, where is the old wish for those occasions; where are those sighs: “ God’s mercy is better than life; Precious is death of Saints; Blessed are those who die in Christ; Blessed are those who suffer exile; I am ready to receive punishment. Chains have come for me to celebrate. Even if armies come down on me, I am not afraid. Similar sayings is what we are almost daily saying, but down in our hearts we are afraid to implement. Listen to me brothers’ I never even thought of trying to talk you into abandoning your God if and when he would expose you to this torture; I am familiar with the indecisiveness in all of us, but anyway I am telling you and begging all of you to be ready to suffer the torture instead to negate your belief in our Lord Jesus Christ. Because after short suffering follows eternal happiness. If we give up on our God we feel eternal suffering and terrible torture I also feel it is needless to talk about this; and I am seeing your souls without need to make you any more brave. Something else is what I actually intended to talk to you about. It seems to me that you are preparing to run away. This I don’t approve, neither do I understand by which route you are planning to run away. On the sea all around us are appearing pirates, Narantani (modern: Neretljani), Herzegovinians and other enemies that surround us. To the East already in bay of Kotor is anchored all of Ottoman Turkish fleet, some 400 galleys. They may be even getting close to '''Ragusa''' (modern: Dubrovnik) or even closer. To the West we hear that around '''Lissa''' (modern: Vis) were spotted 10 galleys, that separated from this fleet. To the North nobody wants to receive us, and even if they take us we will become their servants and slaves. From Apulia which is to the South, we are separated by the wide sea expanse that makes it even worse, we are surrounded by enemies on all sides. Be careful so that you don’t, God forbid, run into a bigger danger by trying to run away. But if you really have made up your mind to leave ,I pray God to protect you; while I, who not any less than you likes his life, I have decided to stay here, as they say, and try my luck.

Where is the past wish for martyrdom, where is the old wish for those occasions; where are those sighs:'' “ God’s mercy is better than life; Precious is death of Saints; Blessed are those who die in Christ; Blessed are those who suffer exile; I am ready to receive punishment. Chains have come for me to celebrate. Even if armies come down on me, I am not afraid. Similar sayings is what we are almost daily saying, but down in our hearts we are afraid to implement. Listen to me brothers’ I never even thought of trying to talk you into abandoning your God if and when he would expose you to this torture" ''; I am familiar with the indecisiveness in all of us, but anyway I am telling you and begging all of you to be ready to suffer the torture instead to negate your belief in our Lord Jesus Christ. Because after short suffering follows eternal happiness. If we give up on our God we feel eternal suffering and terrible torture I also feel it is needless to talk about this; and I am seeing your souls without need to make you any more brave. Something else is what I actually intended to talk to you about. It seems to me that you are preparing to run away. This I don’t approve, neither do I understand by which route you are planning to run away. On the sea all around us are appearing pirates, Narantani (modern: Neretljani,<ref> The Narantani, who are referred to today mainly as ''Neretljani'', were a nation of Slav pirates. Firstly known as ''Arentanoi.''</ref>  Herzegovinians and other enemies that surround us. To the East already in bay of Kotor is anchored all of Ottoman Turkish fleet, some 400 galleys. They may be even getting close to '''Ragusa''' (modern: Dubrovnik) or even closer. To the West we hear that around '''Lissa''' (modern: Vis) were spotted 10 galleys, that separated from this fleet. To the North nobody wants to receive us, and even if they take us we will become their servants and slaves. From Apulia which is to the South, we are separated by the wide sea expanse that makes it even worse, we are surrounded by enemies on all sides. Be careful so that you don’t, God forbid, run into a bigger danger by trying to run away. But if you really have made up your mind to leave ,I pray God to protect you; while I, who not any less than you likes his life, I have decided to stay here, as they say, and try my luck.

== I Believe that Enemy Fleet will not go any more North Past the bay of Kotor or Past Ragusa ==

== I Believe that Enemy Fleet will not go any more North Past the bay of Kotor or Past Ragusa ==

With all this happening, among us fear increased, our Rector openly and without pretending was saying that the city has to be abandoned, instead of sitting and waiting for the enemy who greatly outnumbers us. Archdeacon instead told everyone to be brave, he was using the friendly letter from Antun Paladin with that thread of white silk as a symbol of security and peace, while others explained it, that the thread means chains and that letter did not foresee any hope, and they continued to be very worried. Following this, people were called to the prayer, which we did as often as possible. The priests were asking for God’s mercy and help from the Saints, while most people with tears in their eyes were answering the prayers. There was three masses held so that public would be preoccupied, and would not think of dangers approaching. After the services in the Cathedral of Saint Marko and while people were going over to church of Holy Trinity, where another services were being held, over here arrived from Peljesac a nobleman from Dubrovnik named Helije Cervin Bunicevic, whom Rector after leaving services takes to his palace. There they conducted a lengthy talk. Rector stayed at his palace and Helije returned back to Peljesac. When he was leaving Vicko Rozanovic asked him of coming dangers. He answered with a smile ''“everything will be fine if Rector leaves town”''. After the Mass in a procession around the city, after hearing the third Mass in front of the picture of the miraculous Virgin Mary. There it happened that one of ours, possibly from exhaustion as well as of fear of the approaching enemy, collapsed unconscious, and was taken home where he laid appearing dead for three to four hours. As a result of all of this, three days later, as the enemy was nearing, he was among the first ones to ran away from the city and did not stop until he reached a distance of some fifteen thousand steps. After the services we had refreshments.

With all this happening, among us fear increased, our Rector openly and without pretending was saying that the city has to be abandoned, instead of sitting and waiting for the enemy who greatly outnumbers us. Archdeacon instead told everyone to be brave, he was using the friendly letter from Antun Paladin with that thread of white silk as a symbol of security and peace, while others explained it, that the thread means chains and that letter did not foresee any hope, and they continued to be very worried. Following this, people were called to the prayer, which we did as often as possible. The priests were asking for God’s mercy and help from the Saints, while most people with tears in their eyes were answering the prayers. There was three masses held so that public would be preoccupied, and would not think of dangers approaching. After the services in the Cathedral of Saint Marko and while people were going over to church of Holy Trinity, where another services were being held, over here arrived from Peljesac a nobleman from Dubrovnik named Helije Cervin Bunicevic, whom Rector after leaving services takes to his palace. There they conducted a lengthy talk. Rector stayed at his palace and Helije returned back to Peljesac. When he was leaving Vicko Rozanovic asked him of coming dangers. He answered with a smile ''“everything will be fine if Rector leaves town”''. After the Mass in a procession around the city, after hearing the third Mass in front of the picture of the miraculous Virgin Mary. There it happened that one of ours, possibly from exhaustion as well as of fear of the approaching enemy, collapsed unconscious, and was taken home where he laid appearing dead for three to four hours. As a result of all of this, three days later, as the enemy was nearing, he was among the first ones to ran away from the city and did not stop until he reached a distance of some fifteen thousand steps. After the services we had refreshments.

Vicko Rozanovic told his brother what he found out, from talk to Cervin Bunicevic. Archdeacon knowing how among public the fear is multiplying, became very sad and worried himself. At the courtyard of Rectors palace he encountered arguments, this was about stocks of city grain, where some were demanding free passing of food, which was customary in the past, for soldiers-defenders. The argument was between Rector and few of our people; Rector not wanting to give any food , and others were saying that it is not possible to survive inside the city walls. Especially peasants were demanding help. Archdeacon approached and started acting as a judge. He took Rector on side and asked him. What does he think about leaving the city. Whether to run away or try the luck by staying. He answered that he will run away if we get attacked by a large force. Archdeacon will then; Who are you going to leave all this food, maybe to the enemy? It would be better that before you leave you see around you people with full stomachs. Rector after all this agreed to distribute few buckets of grain, but ordered to keep records of to whom the food was given, so that later they could be charged for it, because he was worried that just free distribution may not be acceptable to the Great Venetian Senate. This arrangement was acceptable and everyone was busy passing around the food. After that Archdeacon spent three hours talking to Rector, asking him not to leave the city, even if everyone else leaves. Rector told Archdeacon, that he suspected he himself was secretly planning to escape, showing him a boat at the quay loaded with three barrels of wine and some other articles. This was not done planning to run away, because this boat is very heavy and very slow, but he did this to help his brother Filip and those who left with him, because they could not prepare this by themselves. It is also impossible to resist the force of eight galleys, with the small number of defenders and with weak fortifications. Right after this he ordered, in front of Rectors eyes to empty the boat and then to sink it. Following all this, he personally inspected all men, counting them, where he found some 240, excepting women and children. Rector changes his mind, then Archdeacon started protesting and naming everyone to different fighting locations, then assigned commanders to each location.

Vicko Rozanovic told his brother what he found out, from talk to Cervin Bunicevic. Archdeacon knowing how among public the fear is multiplying, became very sad and worried himself. At the courtyard of Rectors palace he encountered arguments, this was about stocks of city grain, where some were demanding free passing of food, which was customary in the past, for soldiers-defenders. The argument was between Rector and few of our people; Rector not wanting to give any food, and others were saying that it is not possible to survive inside the city walls. Especially peasants were demanding help. Archdeacon approached and started acting as a judge. He took Rector on side and asked him. What does he think about leaving the city. Whether to run away or try the luck by staying. He answered that he will run away if we get attacked by a large force. Archdeacon will then; Who are you going to leave all this food, maybe to the enemy? It would be better that before you leave you see around you people with full stomachs. Rector after all this agreed to distribute few buckets of grain, but ordered to keep records of to whom the food was given, so that later they could be charged for it, because he was worried that just free distribution may not be acceptable to the Great Venetian Senate. This arrangement was acceptable and everyone was busy passing around the food. After that Archdeacon spent three hours talking to Rector, asking him not to leave the city, even if everyone else leaves. Rector told Archdeacon, that he suspected he himself was secretly planning to escape, showing him a boat at the quay loaded with three barrels of wine and some other articles. This was not done planning to run away, because this boat is very heavy and very slow, but he did this to help his brother Filip and those who left with him, because they could not prepare this by themselves. It is also impossible to resist the force of eight galleys, with the small number of defenders and with weak fortifications. Right after this he ordered, in front of Rectors eyes to empty the boat and then to sink it. Following all this, he personally inspected all men, counting them, where he found some 240, excepting women and children. Rector changes his mind, then Archdeacon started protesting and naming everyone to different fighting locations, then assigned commanders to each location.

At the same time on a fast boat arrived several men from Hvar, asking for their community several barrels of gun powder. To this, many reacted strongly being led by Jeronim Gabrielis. While Archdeacon suggested to let them have the powder, knowing that our supplies are plentiful, and in addition we have powder that was supposed to be sent to Ulcinj. And so, our days were passing in extreme excitement and nights in sleeplessness. In the meantime we were constantly receiving news of damages done by Neretljani and even by our neighbours from Peljesac, then about the troubles from all sides. From all directions all we could see is danger. From nowhere we could see any hope of survival. Instead we had to lean on our Savior and blessed Virgin as well as on heavenly saints, towards whom we turned all our prayers for unending assistance. We were all occupied around the altar; priests rising, husbands kneeling, elderly sobbing, young ladies with unfurled hair, women crying, children screaming, all of public were depressed with fear, uncertainty and bitterness. It happens in the meantime that a certain elderly lady approached Archdeacon and said; I will reveal to you a dream that I had seen last night ; I dreamt that I am kneeling in front of Virgin Mary, I was praying and asking her to protect this city. She answered to me. I will provide protection, but tell Archdeacon to be brave, and not to give up. She was trying to say some other things , but Archdeacon cut her off with words;(fearing that there may be some trick in all of this). Granny, time is not to listen to somebody’s dreams, because I am not really worthy of that. Hurry up and pray to God. While saying this, he moved on, telling her to be quiet.

At the same time on a fast boat arrived several men from Hvar, asking for their community several barrels of gun powder. To this, many reacted strongly being led by Jeronim Gabrielis. While Archdeacon suggested to let them have the powder, knowing that our supplies are plentiful, and in addition we have powder that was supposed to be sent to Ulcinj. And so, our days were passing in extreme excitement and nights in sleeplessness. In the meantime we were constantly receiving news of damages done by Neretljani and even by our neighbours from Peljesac, then about the troubles from all sides. From all directions all we could see is danger. From nowhere we could see any hope of survival. Instead we had to lean on our Savior and blessed Virgin as well as on heavenly saints, towards whom we turned all our prayers for unending assistance. We were all occupied around the altar; priests rising, husbands kneeling, elderly sobbing, young ladies with unfurled hair, women crying, children screaming, all of public were depressed with fear, uncertainty and bitterness. It happens in the meantime that a certain elderly lady approached Archdeacon and said; '' 'I will reveal to you a dream that I had seen last night ; I dreamt that I am kneeling in front of Virgin Mary, I was praying and asking her to protect this city. She answered to me. I will provide protection, but tell Archdeacon to be brave, and not to give up.' '' She was trying to say some other things , but Archdeacon cut her off with words;(fearing that there may be some trick in all of this). Granny, time is not to listen to somebody’s dreams, because I am not really worthy of that. Hurry up and pray to God. While saying this, he moved on, telling her to be quiet.

Shortly after Vicko Rosanovic, without breath came running to his brother and said; ''“ We were betrayed, really betrayed, they are digging an opening on new Rectors fortress, they screened themselves so they could not be seen. After that, when darkness comes Rector will run away with his group”''. In a similar fashion some other bitter citizens joined Archdeacon asking him, what to do in this situation. He answered to be quiet, promising that it will be very easy to solve this difficult situation; but only if they stay away from using any harsh and bitter words. Archdeacon by coincidence runs into Jakov Scapaneo whose duty was that of chancellor, and who was very important and faithful to Rector. Rector then asked him; What if anything did Marko Prasica bring new from Dubrovnik, even though he already knew all about it, because he told everyone that he brought the letter, how there was 80 galleys guarding the island of Rod, then they are coming here to destroy us. And that along the way were seen many sails near Dubrovnik, and that by tomorrow they can be already here. This is why this Jakov from his office was climbing the fortresses to see if any sails are approaching on the horizon. Archdeacon joined him, This was a chance for them to enter into a lengthy conversation. Jakov started, without making any sense to respond to questions. Archdeacon pretended to believe everything that he said. Together they climbed up on city walls, and continued walking all around the city on top of defence walls. Finally when they reached wooden steps at Southern City gate, Archdeacon said; Look brother; do you think I don’t know about the news we have received; I know of 80 enemy’s sails, because of this you came out from your office, to see them coming; I am familiar with the open hole cut in the city’s walls by the Rectors palace, I also know that as soon as it gets dark you with Rector plan to leave with that hired boat from Perast, which is already docked here at the quay. Even though I knew all this I am not mad at you, or that you have tried to lie to me. In fact, because I know your faithfulness to Rector, I respect that, and I am discovering that you enjoy this relationship. In the name of this opinion of mine, I like you to transmit to Rector that not only me but all of the city’s citizenry, know the news and the consequences of his decisions. Therefore we pray that he doesn’t leave the city, in no way, especially not secretly. By swearing himself, archdeacon answers, that he is doing this because of his and Rectors salvation. Thinking about all of this, he lowered his eyes to the ground, all he is going to do is to tell this to the Rector. At the time they parted the Rectors palace became open to everyone. Looking for Archdeacon and bringing him inside where Rector was, together they shared sorrow of their sad situation. Rector asked him to accept his position. Archdeacon answers, that he has no reason to abandon his stand, than he brings in the letter received from Dubrovnik, and that the message in the letter can only make you more brave knowing that coming ships will do their planned activity. That the naval armada is approaching our shores, coming from Rod, says Rector. On that Archdeacon answered;''” but perhaps we are safer inside stone fortifications than are enemy inside wooden boats”''.

Shortly after Vicko Rosanovic, without breath came running to his brother and said; ''“ We were betrayed, really betrayed, they are digging an opening on new Rectors fortress, they screened themselves so they could not be seen. After that, when darkness comes Rector will run away with his group”''. In a similar fashion some other bitter citizens joined Archdeacon asking him, what to do in this situation. He answered to be quiet, promising that it will be very easy to solve this difficult situation; but only if they stay away from using any harsh and bitter words. Archdeacon by coincidence runs into Jakov Scapaneo whose duty was that of chancellor, and who was very important and faithful to Rector. Rector then asked him; What if anything did Marko Prasica bring new from Dubrovnik, even though he already knew all about it, because he told everyone that he brought the letter, how there was 80 galleys guarding the island of Rod, then they are coming here to destroy us. And that along the way were seen many sails near Dubrovnik, and that by tomorrow they can be already here. This is why this Jakov from his office was climbing the fortresses to see if any sails are approaching on the horizon. Archdeacon joined him, This was a chance for them to enter into a lengthy conversation. Jakov started, without making any sense to respond to questions. Archdeacon pretended to believe everything that he said. Together they climbed up on city walls, and continued walking all around the city on top of defence walls. Finally when they reached wooden steps at Southern City gate, Archdeacon said; Look brother; do you think I don’t know about the news we have received; I know of 80 enemy’s sails, because of this you came out from your office, to see them coming; I am familiar with the open hole cut in the city’s walls by the Rectors palace, I also know that as soon as it gets dark you with Rector plan to leave with that hired boat from Perast, which is already docked here at the quay. Even though I knew all this I am not mad at you, or that you have tried to lie to me. In fact, because I know your faithfulness to Rector, I respect that, and I am discovering that you enjoy this relationship. In the name of this opinion of mine, I like you to transmit to Rector that not only me but all of the city’s citizenry, know the news and the consequences of his decisions. Therefore we pray that he doesn’t leave the city, in no way, especially not secretly. By swearing himself, archdeacon answers, that he is doing this because of his and Rectors salvation. Thinking about all of this, he lowered his eyes to the ground, all he is going to do is to tell this to the Rector. At the time they parted the Rectors palace became open to everyone. Looking for Archdeacon and bringing him inside where Rector was, together they shared sorrow of their sad situation. Rector asked him to accept his position. Archdeacon answers, that he has no reason to abandon his stand, than he brings in the letter received from Dubrovnik, and that the message in the letter can only make you more brave knowing that coming ships will do their planned activity. That the naval armada is approaching our shores, coming from Rod, says Rector. On that Archdeacon answered;''” but perhaps we are safer inside stone fortifications than are enemy inside wooden boats”''.